ghanimasun (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ghanimasun) wrote2006-11-28 09:04 pm
ghanimasun) wrote2006-11-28 09:04 pm
so this is november
no i havent forgotten about you livejournal. ive just been lazy, distracted and well..that about sums it up.
i forget what i last talked about. the car, well we just fixed up the cheapest and most necessary thing and we're driving it around. its not doing teh best but it keeps on working so we keep on driving it.
work is the same.
i havent found or even looked for a new/real job somewhere else lately.
i got to see friends lately. women, who i am not related to, and actually like spending time with. its a frakking rare thing, thats for sure.
i've been distracted with holiday stuff sort of lately.
i'm disappointed with myself and my life. i don't know what to do. more to the point, i don't feel like i know *how* to do the things that i want to do. how do i find this imaginary job that i am going to enjoy and that will be something of a career starter? where is this magical place that both travis and i will both be happy living in? how the hell do i learn to save money and say no to buying/eating so much? how do i lose weight? how do i open up and share myself more with others and connect to human beings i care about?
i don't have anything good to say. i had some weird dreams lately. some just plain weird, some even more confusing. i dreamt about my one exboyfriend. the only one i really dont like at all. the one i look back at with digust and shame. in the dream (im not sure why im telling it) i saw him, in a mall or shopping center or something. he looked even skinnier than he used to look. as soon as i saw him i walked the other way and half started to run away from him so he wouldnt see me. but he did, he caught up to me to chat with me. i dont remember what we said though. i think i used to, but the dream was a few days ago and i forget. i just wanted to get away from him, i didnt want to talk about him, or know anything about him. i was worried someone would see me talkign to him. i think that it was very strange for me to dream about this particular person. i havent thought about him for a long time and really have no further intentions to think on him.
i also had a dream where i was being held hostage. i was one three women that were kidnapped and being held in some strange bedroom/room. the room was warm and lived in. there were three bathrooms though and only one that was in its own room. but after some time, i wasnt one of the poeple kidnapped, but i was someone who knew where they were and helped people rescue them. that didnt make any sense either.
eh. i dotn have much else to say. writing is too much work.
i forget what i last talked about. the car, well we just fixed up the cheapest and most necessary thing and we're driving it around. its not doing teh best but it keeps on working so we keep on driving it.
work is the same.
i havent found or even looked for a new/real job somewhere else lately.
i got to see friends lately. women, who i am not related to, and actually like spending time with. its a frakking rare thing, thats for sure.
i've been distracted with holiday stuff sort of lately.
i'm disappointed with myself and my life. i don't know what to do. more to the point, i don't feel like i know *how* to do the things that i want to do. how do i find this imaginary job that i am going to enjoy and that will be something of a career starter? where is this magical place that both travis and i will both be happy living in? how the hell do i learn to save money and say no to buying/eating so much? how do i lose weight? how do i open up and share myself more with others and connect to human beings i care about?
i don't have anything good to say. i had some weird dreams lately. some just plain weird, some even more confusing. i dreamt about my one exboyfriend. the only one i really dont like at all. the one i look back at with digust and shame. in the dream (im not sure why im telling it) i saw him, in a mall or shopping center or something. he looked even skinnier than he used to look. as soon as i saw him i walked the other way and half started to run away from him so he wouldnt see me. but he did, he caught up to me to chat with me. i dont remember what we said though. i think i used to, but the dream was a few days ago and i forget. i just wanted to get away from him, i didnt want to talk about him, or know anything about him. i was worried someone would see me talkign to him. i think that it was very strange for me to dream about this particular person. i havent thought about him for a long time and really have no further intentions to think on him.
i also had a dream where i was being held hostage. i was one three women that were kidnapped and being held in some strange bedroom/room. the room was warm and lived in. there were three bathrooms though and only one that was in its own room. but after some time, i wasnt one of the poeple kidnapped, but i was someone who knew where they were and helped people rescue them. that didnt make any sense either.
eh. i dotn have much else to say. writing is too much work.