ghanimasun (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ghanimasun) wrote2006-05-31 03:58 pm
ghanimasun) wrote2006-05-31 03:58 pm
(no subject)
I was just rereading my post on my birthday. Disgustingly, nothing has really progressed since then. My new job has been the same as ever. Travis got a job at a department store. We are barely making any money here, and we are throwing it all away (haha throwing it away on car payments, car insurance and the like) we are so in the hole already. Money is the biggest frustration and stressor in my life. That and my parents. I even started thinking about moving to some dinky apt in this town just so I don't have to deal with my parents stress! But the sad thing is, Travis and I can't afford even a cheap apt on what we are making now. Neither one of us are working full time, so maybe that would help...but we wouldn't be able to save any money that way. *sigh* I could go on yapping about money for a while, but I won't.
Had a nice weekend, got to see two of my best friends over the weekend, which was very enjoyable. Otherwise the long weekend was completely unproductive for me.
Sometimes I really do think I am feeling a lot worse here, living with my parents, than I did living alone with Travis in CA. There are good points and bad points of both. I'm not sure the good points are going to outlast the bad points for long at all.
The heat here is also soooo bad! It was never this hot in CA; its all because of the crazy humidity here. It makes me not want to do *anything* because I am sweating just sitting here, and it is very miserable everywhere.
I haven't done anything productive or interesting for myself. I've just wasted time watching tv, not doing anything or going anywhere. (Then again, I can't afford anything! So that does limit going places/doing things, but not entirely).
Anyway I feel really depressed today. However I did feel pretty good this weekend, had a fair amount of fun with my friends.
I feel so confused and anxious and stressed by the inability to do stuff. I feel completely hopeless sometimes about my future. And it's even harder to motivate myself in this nasty humid heat.
I am glad to be able to see my family and relatives (and cat!) and friends now, but I don't know if that is worth all of this. Ideally I would like to live somewhere close by here, so I can visit my best friends (one of which who is moving to Iowa in a few months tho!!) and my family on a nice basis, but not have to physically live with my parents, and deal with my mom butting into everything we do and listen to her snide comments about our decisions and our life. I could be really mean about her, but I am not. It would be unnecessary and would absolutley not help anything. And it's not that I hate my mom or anything, I love her, and my dad. But sometimes I seriously disagree with their ideas, opinions and decisions. And my mom's complaining, judging and stress-causing comments.
*sigh* enough negativity.
Let me think of something positive....something positive....
going to make dinner soon....yum yum yum!
Had a nice weekend, got to see two of my best friends over the weekend, which was very enjoyable. Otherwise the long weekend was completely unproductive for me.
Sometimes I really do think I am feeling a lot worse here, living with my parents, than I did living alone with Travis in CA. There are good points and bad points of both. I'm not sure the good points are going to outlast the bad points for long at all.
The heat here is also soooo bad! It was never this hot in CA; its all because of the crazy humidity here. It makes me not want to do *anything* because I am sweating just sitting here, and it is very miserable everywhere.
I haven't done anything productive or interesting for myself. I've just wasted time watching tv, not doing anything or going anywhere. (Then again, I can't afford anything! So that does limit going places/doing things, but not entirely).
Anyway I feel really depressed today. However I did feel pretty good this weekend, had a fair amount of fun with my friends.
I feel so confused and anxious and stressed by the inability to do stuff. I feel completely hopeless sometimes about my future. And it's even harder to motivate myself in this nasty humid heat.
I am glad to be able to see my family and relatives (and cat!) and friends now, but I don't know if that is worth all of this. Ideally I would like to live somewhere close by here, so I can visit my best friends (one of which who is moving to Iowa in a few months tho!!) and my family on a nice basis, but not have to physically live with my parents, and deal with my mom butting into everything we do and listen to her snide comments about our decisions and our life. I could be really mean about her, but I am not. It would be unnecessary and would absolutley not help anything. And it's not that I hate my mom or anything, I love her, and my dad. But sometimes I seriously disagree with their ideas, opinions and decisions. And my mom's complaining, judging and stress-causing comments.
*sigh* enough negativity.
Let me think of something positive....something positive....
going to make dinner soon....yum yum yum!