ghanimasun (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ghanimasun) wrote2005-04-17 11:15 pm
ghanimasun) wrote2005-04-17 11:15 pm
sleepy
travis left saturday morning. its now sunday night. my first full day without him, also happens to be our 17 month-iversary.
sometimes it feels like we're falling apart.
i'm depressed. i didnt cry really at the airport. i cried yesterday afternoon as i was cleaning my room and a little bit today. but mostly i just feel like theres this big void inside of me and its just bringing me down. i try not to htink about it all by watching tv, movies or doing anything else to keep my mind more occupied. watched two movies today.
i talked to him yesterday and twice today. i am finding myself being a little bit distant from him on the phone. i never really thought it was easy to talk with himon thephone though....it's just not our thing. tonight he called me from his friends house. it was nice htat he called me but i wasnt really overly friendly to him. every little thing he tells me just makes me more depressed and unhappy. not really sure why. i already feel so incredibly distant from him. i go from doing almost everything in my day with him and being a huge part of his life, to barely having a clue what hes up to at all.
anyway, i'm really tired now, so i'm off to bed.
i dont know what is going on with me.
but i do know i hate my stupid ass job! (which is what hangs over me all the time!)
sometimes it feels like we're falling apart.
i'm depressed. i didnt cry really at the airport. i cried yesterday afternoon as i was cleaning my room and a little bit today. but mostly i just feel like theres this big void inside of me and its just bringing me down. i try not to htink about it all by watching tv, movies or doing anything else to keep my mind more occupied. watched two movies today.
i talked to him yesterday and twice today. i am finding myself being a little bit distant from him on the phone. i never really thought it was easy to talk with himon thephone though....it's just not our thing. tonight he called me from his friends house. it was nice htat he called me but i wasnt really overly friendly to him. every little thing he tells me just makes me more depressed and unhappy. not really sure why. i already feel so incredibly distant from him. i go from doing almost everything in my day with him and being a huge part of his life, to barely having a clue what hes up to at all.
anyway, i'm really tired now, so i'm off to bed.
i dont know what is going on with me.
but i do know i hate my stupid ass job! (which is what hangs over me all the time!)