ghanimasun (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ghanimasun) wrote2003-09-12 03:13 am
ghanimasun) wrote2003-09-12 03:13 am
its late
I wasn't goign to write in here tonight at all, but then I read someone elses post and for some reason, having nothing much to do with the actual content of the post itself, it influenced me to write in mine. For some reason I'm hesitant to mention some things here. Not because of not wanting anyone to read them or not wanting people to know. I'm not sure why. I think its because its so fragile and unreal for me that I don't want to spoil it or ruin it somehow. I don't really see how writing about it in here would really do that though. I've made a new friend here, and it's really refreshing and enjoyable, I just don't want to do anything to screw it up. I'm annoyed with myself in some respects. I'm confused a little. And kind of happy too.
Haha, I know what my fucking problem is.
I need to talk more!
Not as simple as it sounds.
I just spent a fair amount of time mostly just listening to someone else talk to me, not really talking much myself. That's all I ever do. And I mean, I like to listen to people talk, because I mean, I wouldnt be around them or in the situation to hear them talk if I didn't like them. But I need to rant myself. I need to be the one talking and going on and having the otehr person just sitting there listening ot me. (Is it possible they really want to hear me talk like that? Yeah...I suppose it is. But it's also possible they won't like me as much when I open myself up more.) Part of the reason I dont do that is because I just feel like I'm boring the other person and they dont really care or aren't listening. I would hate to be talking and having the other person not care or not be paying attention to me.
I must say I feel like I'm a bit boring.
Alright, I'm too tired and its too late to keep going onlike this. I need to get to sleep. Plus, going over all my failings isn't really helping.
The main point is that I would be better at this (I'm supposing) if I would just talk more. The more I talk, the more I am bound to be better at it, and want to do it more often.
Gah, I'm really such a dumbass.
I wonder what he's thinking about me.
(However I know now that it's definitely not in the way I would most prefer, but friends is better than nothing. And friends is good.)
I wish I didn't make an ass of myself every time I opened my mouth.
I'm going to sleep.
Haha, I know what my fucking problem is.
I need to talk more!
Not as simple as it sounds.
I just spent a fair amount of time mostly just listening to someone else talk to me, not really talking much myself. That's all I ever do. And I mean, I like to listen to people talk, because I mean, I wouldnt be around them or in the situation to hear them talk if I didn't like them. But I need to rant myself. I need to be the one talking and going on and having the otehr person just sitting there listening ot me. (Is it possible they really want to hear me talk like that? Yeah...I suppose it is. But it's also possible they won't like me as much when I open myself up more.) Part of the reason I dont do that is because I just feel like I'm boring the other person and they dont really care or aren't listening. I would hate to be talking and having the other person not care or not be paying attention to me.
I must say I feel like I'm a bit boring.
Alright, I'm too tired and its too late to keep going onlike this. I need to get to sleep. Plus, going over all my failings isn't really helping.
The main point is that I would be better at this (I'm supposing) if I would just talk more. The more I talk, the more I am bound to be better at it, and want to do it more often.
Gah, I'm really such a dumbass.
I wonder what he's thinking about me.
(However I know now that it's definitely not in the way I would most prefer, but friends is better than nothing. And friends is good.)
I wish I didn't make an ass of myself every time I opened my mouth.
I'm going to sleep.