ghanimasun (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ghanimasun) wrote2003-08-17 02:01 am
ghanimasun) wrote2003-08-17 02:01 am
summer days drifting away
Well, it's been a while since I've written in here.
My dad's okay, although he's having some not really good physical problems now from the accident, they seem to be fixable so far, which is good at least.
Lately I haven't really been doing anything other thing sitting in my house, watching tv, movies or hangign out with my family members. Its been pretty pointless and uneventful.
I go back to school in about a week. I have so little to do now that I've actually started packing a teeny bit already. I realized I have entirely too much *stuff*. No person should have as much crap as I have. I don't need most of it, yet I own tons of stuff. And I'm also taking entirely too much stuff, more than I'll ever realistically need or use to college. Knowing this fact however, has not prevented me from taking all the stuff anyway. Well at least with so much stuff my room will look spiffy and, well, lived in, if nothing else.
I saw two movies recently that I really liked, for different reasons.
Earlier this evening I just watched About Schmidt, which was very good. And some days ago I saw 28 Days Later, which I knew nothing about before I saw but I really enjoyed it.
Yay for good movies actually existing :)
Ahh, my life has been so relatively uneventful lately that I really have nothing to write.
I talked to Emrys on the phone the other day which was very good. He always makes me think and reflect some. I miss him. I'm looking forward ot seeing him on Sunday when I go back to school.
I have been thinking about--and annoyed by--the fact that I do have friends but all of them are far away. None of the people I consider friends live anywhere near me at home. I can't just randomly decide to go somewhere and call up someone, one of my friends, to go with me. The only people I have here haven't realy been available recently. However I did go out with Jessica and her boyfriend hte other night. Which was enjoyable; however I found myself not talking very much. Which bothered me, but I didn't really change it.
Anyway, at least at shcool I'll have people around me. Maybe not necessarily people who will do stuff with me, but, well, at least I'll have people I can ask to do stuff with me. Which is better than nothing. And who knows, maybe I'll meet some new people this year or get to know people I am friends with there better.
Grr.
Life is stupid and fragile.
Sometimes it scares me so how fragile peoples lives are. And how we all just seem to waste so much of them.
I've discovered that I like touching people, because it makes them feel more real or more alive. Not any weird kind of touching, just like putting my hand on their arm or something, and feeling them. Feeling that their life is alive in that body, its warm, and they are alive and there. Especially my dad and my grandpa. Because of them I've been thinkign about life and death a little more than usual. Now, not a lot or anything, but just a little. And I feel like I need to touch them, their hands, their arms, something, just to feel that they're real and alive and still there. Because who knows when they'll be gone.
I find that I need to touch a lot of things, it helps me. I love to just put my hands in trees and flowers and stuff when I'm outside. Just to feel that they're there and...maybe to just make sure that everything is there, as it seems, in my eyes. Maybe ot just help me feel connected more to it all and to feel more alive.
Hmm. Touch is a really good sense. It's rather underappreciated :)
How sad is it that I'm just living for school to start again.
I'm waiting to live.
Not that I'm not doing jack here, but I guess there's really just not a lot for me to od in the time I have left. Besides the stuff I have to do to get ready for school.
OK, I'm being too overwhelmed by my thoughts. I'm going to have to stop thinkign now, and thus stop writing. Because it triggers lots of thoughts, and I'm sick of them.
My dad's okay, although he's having some not really good physical problems now from the accident, they seem to be fixable so far, which is good at least.
Lately I haven't really been doing anything other thing sitting in my house, watching tv, movies or hangign out with my family members. Its been pretty pointless and uneventful.
I go back to school in about a week. I have so little to do now that I've actually started packing a teeny bit already. I realized I have entirely too much *stuff*. No person should have as much crap as I have. I don't need most of it, yet I own tons of stuff. And I'm also taking entirely too much stuff, more than I'll ever realistically need or use to college. Knowing this fact however, has not prevented me from taking all the stuff anyway. Well at least with so much stuff my room will look spiffy and, well, lived in, if nothing else.
I saw two movies recently that I really liked, for different reasons.
Earlier this evening I just watched About Schmidt, which was very good. And some days ago I saw 28 Days Later, which I knew nothing about before I saw but I really enjoyed it.
Yay for good movies actually existing :)
Ahh, my life has been so relatively uneventful lately that I really have nothing to write.
I talked to Emrys on the phone the other day which was very good. He always makes me think and reflect some. I miss him. I'm looking forward ot seeing him on Sunday when I go back to school.
I have been thinking about--and annoyed by--the fact that I do have friends but all of them are far away. None of the people I consider friends live anywhere near me at home. I can't just randomly decide to go somewhere and call up someone, one of my friends, to go with me. The only people I have here haven't realy been available recently. However I did go out with Jessica and her boyfriend hte other night. Which was enjoyable; however I found myself not talking very much. Which bothered me, but I didn't really change it.
Anyway, at least at shcool I'll have people around me. Maybe not necessarily people who will do stuff with me, but, well, at least I'll have people I can ask to do stuff with me. Which is better than nothing. And who knows, maybe I'll meet some new people this year or get to know people I am friends with there better.
Grr.
Life is stupid and fragile.
Sometimes it scares me so how fragile peoples lives are. And how we all just seem to waste so much of them.
I've discovered that I like touching people, because it makes them feel more real or more alive. Not any weird kind of touching, just like putting my hand on their arm or something, and feeling them. Feeling that their life is alive in that body, its warm, and they are alive and there. Especially my dad and my grandpa. Because of them I've been thinkign about life and death a little more than usual. Now, not a lot or anything, but just a little. And I feel like I need to touch them, their hands, their arms, something, just to feel that they're real and alive and still there. Because who knows when they'll be gone.
I find that I need to touch a lot of things, it helps me. I love to just put my hands in trees and flowers and stuff when I'm outside. Just to feel that they're there and...maybe to just make sure that everything is there, as it seems, in my eyes. Maybe ot just help me feel connected more to it all and to feel more alive.
Hmm. Touch is a really good sense. It's rather underappreciated :)
How sad is it that I'm just living for school to start again.
I'm waiting to live.
Not that I'm not doing jack here, but I guess there's really just not a lot for me to od in the time I have left. Besides the stuff I have to do to get ready for school.
OK, I'm being too overwhelmed by my thoughts. I'm going to have to stop thinkign now, and thus stop writing. Because it triggers lots of thoughts, and I'm sick of them.