ghanimasun (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ghanimasun) wrote2003-08-04 11:20 pm
ghanimasun) wrote2003-08-04 11:20 pm
ramblings...
I'm back.
I'm just writing random things now, and hopefully my computer won't frell up and I won't lose them all.
I think sometimes I am so old, and I have done so little. I think someitmes that I am too screwed up to have what I want.
I am so old, and yet I have not had a great love. A wonderful thing to look back upon and all these memories to think about when I'm old.
I want to write out my dreams. I had this recent one where I was in hell, but it wasnt bad or anything; I had a room and a bed, and I could hang out, just nobody could leave. I met a guy with a yellow mohawk. After I awoke, I started forming it into a story while I was in the shower, so I don't remember all what I actually dreamed and what I added afterwards. I want to write it out sometime though. Maybe I will.
Sometimes I fear that I'm not deep. Not deep enough. Sometimes I feel so shallow and simple and plain and boring and common. Oh! To be all that I want to be. I don't want to be like everyone else; I don't want to be categorizable and plain. I want to be interesting and complicated. But I fear so much, sometimes that I am lacking in depth, and I am just this small, plain pool, with nothing but whta you see on the outside. No suprises, nothing interesting or exciting. Just plain and empty.
I'm just writing random things now, and hopefully my computer won't frell up and I won't lose them all.
I think sometimes I am so old, and I have done so little. I think someitmes that I am too screwed up to have what I want.
I am so old, and yet I have not had a great love. A wonderful thing to look back upon and all these memories to think about when I'm old.
I want to write out my dreams. I had this recent one where I was in hell, but it wasnt bad or anything; I had a room and a bed, and I could hang out, just nobody could leave. I met a guy with a yellow mohawk. After I awoke, I started forming it into a story while I was in the shower, so I don't remember all what I actually dreamed and what I added afterwards. I want to write it out sometime though. Maybe I will.
Sometimes I fear that I'm not deep. Not deep enough. Sometimes I feel so shallow and simple and plain and boring and common. Oh! To be all that I want to be. I don't want to be like everyone else; I don't want to be categorizable and plain. I want to be interesting and complicated. But I fear so much, sometimes that I am lacking in depth, and I am just this small, plain pool, with nothing but whta you see on the outside. No suprises, nothing interesting or exciting. Just plain and empty.