was reflective...now just brief and annoyed

[ghanimasun]

I had a lot of stuff written, then my dumbass computer locked up and I lost it all.
Mostly I mentioned I saw the movie The Hours, which was very good, but I didn't understand it completely.
I talked about how I'm so worried.
Mostly I'm worried about my grandpa and his cancer, and its so hard for me to deal with.
And I'm worried for Miranda and her parents, who seem to both be having health problems, and for Jon and his friend who he found out has cancer. I feel so bad for both of them. I wish I could help in some way, but I'm so terrible at helping; I never know what to say. Both of them, I think, have had such complicated hard lives. My life is pretty simple and easy in comparison I think.
I'm vaguely worried about the house for next year, and how everything is going to work out.
I'm worried about myself and my life.
Sometimes it feels like its just falling apart. And sometimes it feels like its not there.
I was going to be all reflective and thoughtful in here tonight. I'm actually online for once to chat with people. Although some people who I wish were on, are not.
But since my computer locked up, and I got all distracted, I've lost the mood.
Maybe I'll come back later.