(no subject)

Well here I am sitting at work, like I am every other day of the week, from abotu 8:30-5ish. I don't get home till about 6 though every day. Work is only 10 miles from where I live though, so it's not too cool. In fact its really annoying, and I hate the drive a lot. Luckily I can be distracted enough by listening ot the radio, that sometimes I'll be halfway home and have no memory of the drive up till that point because I was listening to the radio and such. Stupid driving. And, damn there's a lot of people here! It's a bit annoying. But mostly just when I'm driving. It actually rained for a few days here recently...the first time it has since I've been here--which has been over three months. Wow, I can't believe I've been in California for over three months. It's so completely strange (but then again, what isn't strange at this point in my life?) It feels like I've been here for a long time in some ways--like I feel familiar with a lot of things and kind of used to the way it's all going. But also I still feel like a stranger here in some ways...I'm still not overly comfortable with Travis' family and don't feel at home there really. I don't know really how to get to many places, besides my work and Travis' work. We're not paying for rent or anythign which is a good thing (if his parents wanted us to pay rent, I wouldn't have moved there or would move out now if they changed their minds. I can live at home, happier, no rent and be essentially as productive as I'm being now!). Although they did require our assistance with money a few times...most recently they needed 200$ for electric bill, and I gave it to them. Now, I don't know anything about managing money or paying bills yet, but I just don't understand how you can be that short? Well, I guess the electric bill varies and Travis and I have surely increased it a lot. Although isn't 200 a lot for an electric bill period? Ah, hell if I know about bills. I don't know anything. I just don't understand it. It's not a big deal, and its not entirely their fault, as his dad sort of lost some money or is owed money in the company he was working on. Blah, I don't know. Sometimes I think that when (or if---if we get enough frelling money) we go back home in December for a few days that I just will want to stay there, instead of coming back here--soemplace I know I am not happy.
We still really don't have any plans. Both of us have been rather unhappy off and on recently. I don't know what I want to do honestly. I'm very torn between wanting to move somewhere else that we will potentially like (on the west coast) and starting a new kind of life for me and Travis someplace where we don't know anyone (specifically Portland, OR, or some other place that might be good). THe other thing that I am torn over is my desire to want to move back to the east coast so I can be close to my family and friends in a much better way, because I lvoe them and I am afraid soemthing (bad) might happen and I'll be away and it will be even worse then. Here are my thoughts and reasoning: staying on the west coast will be a great experience and let me see new things and experience life on my own, both of which I very much want to do--I want to travel all over, however I am away from essentially everyone I know and love and feel very cut off in a sense and distant from everything that is me, or that I have ever known. And it's so hard for me to get to see anybody or them to see me if I am so far away. So I just don't know what I want. I don't know which feelings to go with. I guess they're both reasonable.
So so far, we don't know what we're going to do after Christmas. Probably stay at his parents house for a while, make soem more money (although I don't know if I will have a job after xmas, so I might have to look for another job too at that point) and then hopefully we will move within the first few months of next year. I was hoping my parents would come out early next year to visit, because it would be really awesome and a great vacation for them. They've never been out here either and I think they would enjoy it a lot so I am goign to really push for it next year.
So besides the grand life plans, my life is pretty much aimless. I got to work, I work, I look at Farscape stuff, I drive home (ugh), I watch tv/play the sims/read/wash clothes/do nothing. I have to figure out what to do about my school loans, they're so frelling confusing. I want to go to the Farscape convention next month, although its gonna be expensive. The plane tickets are going to be REALLY expensive, and it will kinda suck, but I guess in the end it will be worth it. I dunno, I guess like 400 seems a lot for a plane ticket (roudn trip), but I dont know really as I've never bought plane tickets before.
The FARSCAPE miniseries THE PEACEKEEPER WARS was on sun and monday night. It was pretty awesome. Makes me wish it was a 5th season though. But still, it was awesome. It made me pretty damn happy I'd say as it was the first new Farscape in over a year and it only existed because of the fans. I preordered the DVD of it, because they were offering a hand signed photo with it. I've never preorderd anything before, but it's the curse of having money and loving Farscape, so I just did it.
Also, check out my awesome new icon....I didn't make it though, I got it from someone else's icon website. But it's GHANIMA from the Children of Dune miniseries on sci fi. Ghanima means "spoil of war". The "sun" part of my username is from Farscape. I don't know why the hell I came up with the name I did, but it seemed to work at the time. It's a bit weird really.
PLUS!! I'm sick. I think its partly from sleeping in a garage that has some little gratings, making it very cold. My throat and nose are all mucusy andmy throat hurt a lot yesterday. I think I'm getting a little better today though. Plus, I've gained a lot of weight since being out here. I literally can only fit into one pair of pants (I just tried on some other clothes the other day and they wouldnt fit!) So it kind of sucks. I'm not particularly trying to lose weight though. Cos I don't know what to do in order to lose weight, I dont have anything to do, and mostly I just don't feel like it. My main motivation now to lose weight is simply so that I can fit into more clothes. But eh, it just doesn't seem to matter. I wear skirts to work the majority of the time so its not an issue. I don't go many other places.
Alright, that's all I have for now. Enjoy.