i had a donut then i took a nap

I got up kind of early today. But after Travis went to work, I eventually just went back to sleep. It seemed completely pointless to stay awake any longer. It seems completely pointless to do or try anything really. Fear is ruling me. That and depression. Everythings just so damn pointless and awful. Everyone just makes me feel bad (except for Travis). I don't know what to do. I don't know why to bother doing anything at all. Sometimes I think maybe I should try to let myself get even more depressed. Because it would be easier and better off on everyone else too. I don't feel like anyone here (except for Travis) cares at all about me. I am resenting it. My family probably cares about me, but I don't really talk to them much. I don't have anything to say to them. They usually don't have much to say to me either. My friends....ha. Well one of them probably does care about me in a way, but she's so busy we can't really be close. My other friend probably couldn't give a crap about anything in my life. I can't fix either. Everyone else is distant and cold. And I'm not saying its not my fault. I'm just saying how it is. But hey, what should I care? Nobody is concerned about me, why bother about them? Nah, I think about them and worry about them. I don't act though. I don't really act on anything these days. Well, besides sleeping and eating. Crying I have no control over. I hate myself. That's all there needs to be said.