say no to ice cream

Why do I have to be so ugly?
I know why I'm so out of shape and unhealthy as I am--that's my fault. But not being this unattractive. That's not my doing. And I don't know what to do about it.
I just don't know what to do about myself most of the time. (Or, in the few cases where I do know--like exercise!--I just can't bring myself to do it.)
I wish I could see myself like other people see me.
But then I start to think about that Ben Folds Five lyric.....

"You're worried there might not be
anything at all inside
But that you're worried
should tell you that's not right
Don't try to see yourself
the way that others do
It's no use"

Yeah, now that I think about it I really like that song, or at least I used to. Sometimes I'm not sure how true it is, but I definitely used to think its true. The song is called "Jane" and I'm referring to the rest of the lyrics to it as well, because they all really make sense to me on some level. But then, on another level, I can see how someone might not really completely agree with all of them.
And I'm sure theres probably better lyrics to be appropriate for how I feel now, but I either don't remember them, or have never heard them. I'm discovering theres a lot of music out there that is good that I don't know about. That's pretty much all because of John. Well, partly he's just supplying me with alot of the music I had wanted to hear and get into for a while, but just never did, as well as introducing me to new stuff.
Ok, its too late for me to really be thinking, and I have to get up early (not really early, but a time early enough so that it matters when I go to bed) so I'm done for now.