ghanimasun (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ghanimasun) wrote2003-04-27 07:10 pm
ghanimasun) wrote2003-04-27 07:10 pm
i have issues
OK, no more relationships ever. Ever.
I can't help but keep feeling like I want Rob back, just want to be close to him again, and want him to be all mine. But its hard to let go of him. Sometimes I think it would be easier actually if I didn't see him anymore, so I didn't have to feel anything towards him, because when I see him (as you can guess, he just walked past my window) I feel all those feelings of longing and desire and compassion and everything. Gah, what is wrong with me. This is so annoying and frustrating!!!!!!
Why the fuck can't I get over anyone. Well I'm over Jon, and I'm basically over Shane, plus I never see either of them, and even when I have recently, it was fine. But Emrys, and Rob. Bah! No sanity there. Dammit! It appears I am emotionally unstable. Aha, but that's nothing new. Maybe I should just ignore it. Ignore Rob, not think about all the good things and everything I miss, and just wait for school to be over here, me to be out of here, so I can stop thinking about him and stop missing him and wanting him back. JUST STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM! I have to keep reminding myself (and its hard sometimes) about why I ended the relationship and remembering the bad stuff, well the feelings I had of disconnectedness, unhappiness, dissatisfaction, how he really wasn't what I wanted. I need to focus on that to get me through my feelings. I know I won't do anything like try to talk to him now, but God knows I want to. But well for one thing, its a little frelling late. And for another, it wouldnt be right. I know that, but I feel something different. I need to get my feelings and emotions in harmony with what I know is right.
Alright, I'm done. Well maybe. I have to keep studying for my stupid ass hard history final tomorow. Blah.
I just want to be free of this place and all the problems it brings me.
I can't help but keep feeling like I want Rob back, just want to be close to him again, and want him to be all mine. But its hard to let go of him. Sometimes I think it would be easier actually if I didn't see him anymore, so I didn't have to feel anything towards him, because when I see him (as you can guess, he just walked past my window) I feel all those feelings of longing and desire and compassion and everything. Gah, what is wrong with me. This is so annoying and frustrating!!!!!!
Why the fuck can't I get over anyone. Well I'm over Jon, and I'm basically over Shane, plus I never see either of them, and even when I have recently, it was fine. But Emrys, and Rob. Bah! No sanity there. Dammit! It appears I am emotionally unstable. Aha, but that's nothing new. Maybe I should just ignore it. Ignore Rob, not think about all the good things and everything I miss, and just wait for school to be over here, me to be out of here, so I can stop thinking about him and stop missing him and wanting him back. JUST STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM! I have to keep reminding myself (and its hard sometimes) about why I ended the relationship and remembering the bad stuff, well the feelings I had of disconnectedness, unhappiness, dissatisfaction, how he really wasn't what I wanted. I need to focus on that to get me through my feelings. I know I won't do anything like try to talk to him now, but God knows I want to. But well for one thing, its a little frelling late. And for another, it wouldnt be right. I know that, but I feel something different. I need to get my feelings and emotions in harmony with what I know is right.
Alright, I'm done. Well maybe. I have to keep studying for my stupid ass hard history final tomorow. Blah.
I just want to be free of this place and all the problems it brings me.