ghanimasun (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ghanimasun) wrote2003-04-02 06:08 pm
ghanimasun) wrote2003-04-02 06:08 pm
i'm confused
Ok, last night I sent Jessica an email saying that I was concerned about her and worried about her and that I loved her and missed her. I did this partly because her boyfriend who I was talking to at the time somewhat suggested that it might be helpful or nice. I just got an email back from her saying she doesn't want my help or conern or worry, and that she doesn't know what would make her come to me for help or to talk to, and that I flatter myself.
Suffice to say I am deeply upset by this. I'm crying as I type this. I don't know what the fuck is going on and I am incredibly upset and confused. I'm crying so hard. I dont know what the fuck I did to her. I feel so awful. I feel in shock. I can't stop crying. The only possible thing I can think that I could have done to upset her or piss her off is not talk to her very much or very often. But even tho it doesnt make up for it, she hasn't been making a huge effort to talk to me either. Nonetheless, I talked to her last week breifly when I got my REU and she didnt seem hostile or anything then. I'm feeling dizzy. I know I shouldnt let this affect me so, but its jsut so out of the blue. Especially with her boyfriend practically encouraging me to send her an email!
I'm trying to calm down.
I'm going to try to eat dinner.
I just don't know what to do.
I feel so awful.
Suffice to say I am deeply upset by this. I'm crying as I type this. I don't know what the fuck is going on and I am incredibly upset and confused. I'm crying so hard. I dont know what the fuck I did to her. I feel so awful. I feel in shock. I can't stop crying. The only possible thing I can think that I could have done to upset her or piss her off is not talk to her very much or very often. But even tho it doesnt make up for it, she hasn't been making a huge effort to talk to me either. Nonetheless, I talked to her last week breifly when I got my REU and she didnt seem hostile or anything then. I'm feeling dizzy. I know I shouldnt let this affect me so, but its jsut so out of the blue. Especially with her boyfriend practically encouraging me to send her an email!
I'm trying to calm down.
I'm going to try to eat dinner.
I just don't know what to do.
I feel so awful.