ghanimasun (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ghanimasun) wrote2006-10-17 10:23 pm
ghanimasun) wrote2006-10-17 10:23 pm
thinking
i realized today that i am going crazy.
after playing the sims, folding clothes, cleaning the bedroom, starting to watch some bsg, i just couldnt take it anymore. my mind had been racing today at work and at home. i'm not sure why.
there are just too many distractions here at home. work is a complete distraction, obviously. i can't go anywhere in the house where i can't hear the tv my mom always has on. and she pretty much ALWAYS has it on. like all day, all night. i went in the bedroom to try to sit and think and relax. (travis is out for a few hours). but i couldnt think because the tv was too distracting. i went outside to think. i think part of the reason i feel like my life is flying by so fast and i don't have a clue what's going on, is because i haven't had the time to think. think about anything. i don't have a clue who i am or what i want. in my few minutes of solitude outside, i realized the main thing i can focus on that i want, is to get out of here. unfortunately financial car-related issues have popped up and we don't have any savings. we have debt and more car-related debt soon to come. it's very stressful for me. i haven't felt like looking for a job lately; i've just wanted to distract myseelf. not sure from what, though, because i think i am always distracted from myself these days.
i need to figure out how to take time out, and just go somewhere, away from everyone, so i can finally think for once and try to figure out my head. but hell, travis and i can't even drag our sorry asses to the gym once a week.
sometimes being on the computer too long makes me feel crazy, and weary. then i work on a computer at work. come home and play. then i dont feel good enough to search for a job. or i'm just too lazy and messed up.
aw fuck it. the tv is too distracting for me to even complete my thoughts on the computer. and i cant get on the computer anywhere else.
dammit, i am so going crazy.
after playing the sims, folding clothes, cleaning the bedroom, starting to watch some bsg, i just couldnt take it anymore. my mind had been racing today at work and at home. i'm not sure why.
there are just too many distractions here at home. work is a complete distraction, obviously. i can't go anywhere in the house where i can't hear the tv my mom always has on. and she pretty much ALWAYS has it on. like all day, all night. i went in the bedroom to try to sit and think and relax. (travis is out for a few hours). but i couldnt think because the tv was too distracting. i went outside to think. i think part of the reason i feel like my life is flying by so fast and i don't have a clue what's going on, is because i haven't had the time to think. think about anything. i don't have a clue who i am or what i want. in my few minutes of solitude outside, i realized the main thing i can focus on that i want, is to get out of here. unfortunately financial car-related issues have popped up and we don't have any savings. we have debt and more car-related debt soon to come. it's very stressful for me. i haven't felt like looking for a job lately; i've just wanted to distract myseelf. not sure from what, though, because i think i am always distracted from myself these days.
i need to figure out how to take time out, and just go somewhere, away from everyone, so i can finally think for once and try to figure out my head. but hell, travis and i can't even drag our sorry asses to the gym once a week.
sometimes being on the computer too long makes me feel crazy, and weary. then i work on a computer at work. come home and play. then i dont feel good enough to search for a job. or i'm just too lazy and messed up.
aw fuck it. the tv is too distracting for me to even complete my thoughts on the computer. and i cant get on the computer anywhere else.
dammit, i am so going crazy.