ghanimasun (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ghanimasun) wrote2004-03-05 01:13 am
ghanimasun) wrote2004-03-05 01:13 am
if she only had a clue.....
Having thought about it, I've determined there are numerous problems with going to graduate school. One, is the money. It costs lots and lots of money. I don't know how to work, I've never really earned money, so how the hell am I going to pay for it. Two, is what the hell do I want to study? Rationally I should study what I got my undergrad degree it, but am I so sure thats what I want to keep studying? Three, what is the point? Sure I can't find one single job in my field now, but what about somewhere else. Should I look for a job in some other area and just make a living like that for a while? Four, all the damned tests and applications. I'd have to probably take the GRE and the Physics GRE tests. Neither of which I am very inclined to study for or take (especially the Physics one). Plus I will have to choose and apply to all these schools, which is an annoying and complicated process that sounds unfun to me.
As should be obvious, I'm not sure yet what I'm going to do after school. I was looking for work, but I have had no luck whatsoever in finding a job, so I'm thinking that I should either start looking anywhere for work (well for some job better than what I could have gotten before I got my undergrad degree) or just go to grad school for something. It would be such a blessing to have an incredibly strong passion right now so I could know what I want and go out and get it. Instead I have meager interests in a few things but nothing I'm determined for yet. My problem is I like a number of things a little bit, and I can feel myself being pulled slightly towards them, but I can't see myself being satisfied in any one thing forever. Although even if I stay in Astronomy, that doesn't mean thats all I can do for the rest of my life. But that's some serious frelling math and physics and all kinds of crazy knowledge that I'm going to have to knwo for that, and I just don't know if I'm smart enough quite frankly. I feel really dumb sometimes, and its not just me feeling it; I can't do like any of my homework in my classes, I have no insight into math or physics, I'm like a helpless lamb who can't see past what is obvious.
Being dumb sucks.
As should be obvious, I'm not sure yet what I'm going to do after school. I was looking for work, but I have had no luck whatsoever in finding a job, so I'm thinking that I should either start looking anywhere for work (well for some job better than what I could have gotten before I got my undergrad degree) or just go to grad school for something. It would be such a blessing to have an incredibly strong passion right now so I could know what I want and go out and get it. Instead I have meager interests in a few things but nothing I'm determined for yet. My problem is I like a number of things a little bit, and I can feel myself being pulled slightly towards them, but I can't see myself being satisfied in any one thing forever. Although even if I stay in Astronomy, that doesn't mean thats all I can do for the rest of my life. But that's some serious frelling math and physics and all kinds of crazy knowledge that I'm going to have to knwo for that, and I just don't know if I'm smart enough quite frankly. I feel really dumb sometimes, and its not just me feeling it; I can't do like any of my homework in my classes, I have no insight into math or physics, I'm like a helpless lamb who can't see past what is obvious.
Being dumb sucks.