(no subject)

[ghanimasun]

I think I figured something out. It's not big or revolutionary or really anything. But I realized...I think a significant part of me being so unhappy and depressed lately is due to the fact that I really don't have any relationships with people, here at college anyway. Barring my family, the only other people I have good relationships with, in my opinion are Jessica, Emily and Emrys. And some of those have been somewhat strained recently. Yeah I talk to other people too, online, like Miranda and Jonathan, but theyre not really part of my life anymore, and its hard to be close to someone who you never see, and have no chance of seeing. Here at college the only person I would say I have any kind of relationship with is Julia really. Which seems to go back and forth to me from time to time anyway. Yeah, I talk to other people here, but I dont really have a relationship with them, or even Julie for that matter. I dont know. I just was thinking today about how I used to talk about all this interesting stuff with people and enjoy it immensely. How happier it makes me to interact with people, how exciting it is to get to know people and how rewarding it is to have friends. And how I don't have any of that now.